


A Result Which Kraang Did not Expect (Nor Anticipate When Kraang Devised Kraang’s Plan. )

by 4ever_Rewritten



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: And from Kraang's perspective, Crack and yet not, Every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed alien, I also may have a thing for aliens, More like an origin story, Mostly because I can, Other, This is a romance story with a Kraang, Those suits though, Will actually be more than just a romance story, yes - Freeform, you are reading that right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4523934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4ever_Rewritten/pseuds/4ever_Rewritten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kraang had been among humans for approximately 2.5 millenia, yet still could not converse in what humans accepted as 'casual' talk. Kraang Sub-Prime decided that need to change. Kraang was the right...well, Kraang for the job. To bad it didn't go as the Sub-Prime expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

I am Kraang. For Kraang kind, that is our name, our species, our everything. Everything we are is Kraang, and Kraang is everything about who and what we are. To be known by something other than Kraang is something Kraang can not comprehend. 

Yet I am known by something more than Kraang, now. I am also now known as Adam, because I am the first Kraang to be known by more than Kraang. The one who named me as such intended it to correlate with the human’s more popular mythology of creationism. 

Kraang Sub-Prime had given me the purpose of attempting to translate human behavior into something understandable for Kraang, that Kraang may understand humans. Once Kraang can understand humans, Kraang can predict humans, and thus take over their planet. Humans were to be a simple, very unintelligent race with very basic behaviors. Yet for centuries they have confused Kraang because Kraang did not bother to study them completely.

I see now that humans are far from simple or basic. Unintelligent, possibly. But humans do not possess Kraang’s connection to other Kraang. Each one is completely different than any other, and their motivations, their experiences, are as vast and complicated as multiversal physics. Even when two humans are born with the same set of genetic code, raised in the same situation, they will turn out different from their twin. 

Kraang will not be able to overcome the humans, because Kraang can not understand this. We are Kraang. We are one being, trying to understand what it means to be more than one. And when one Kraang became more than Kraang, when I became Adam, I was no longer Kraang. To be Kraang and yet not be Kraang is maddening, terrifying, wonderful, and amazing. 

I hate her for it.

I love her for it.


	2. First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so our odd story begins.

"Dude, you look like you need coffee."

My attention was brought to the female human standing behind the kiosk selling a popular and essential nutrient known as coffee. A strange nutrient apparently necessary for mature human's brain functions, though studies shown it to possess an addictive psychoactive chemical. 

"Kraang does not require the beverage that is known as coffee. Kraang is able to achieve maximal cerebral function without the stimulant known as caffeine."

The female's facial expression changed with her libel moods. Possibly what the humans know as skepticism. "Your speech and eyelids tell a different story. Seriously, here." While I struggled over her strange speech patterns- How could Kraang’s speech say something contrary to what was actually spoken? How could eyelids convey speech? And here? Which here? What purpose did place have in this situation?- she set to work in her station. A drone's position, set much lower than most which was obvious. Was that the source of the nonsensical speech patterns? "Are you a black kind of guy or sweet?"

"Kraang does not understand the function of this inquiry." The expression on the female humans face was evidence of humanity's lack of true intelligence. If she was unable to understand such a basic statement, surely her intelligence level was extremely low. 

"Yeah..." she finally supplied, yet another non sequitur. "No-nonsense guy like you would definitely be a black kind of guy." She placed a small receptacle on the counter of her station. "On the house, sweetie."

Perhaps this mission would prove to be more difficult than anticipated. Among the more elite and intelligent humans, Kraang could easily discern meaning behind their strange terms. Not so with the lesser classes of humans. "Your human speech makes no sense, please clarify the meaning of your sentence."

Another expression of skepticism. Another difference between the human intelligent Kraang interacted with previously. These lesser beings were obviously more likely to have emotional displays. "Okay….It means the coffee is free."

At first, my first thought was to decline. Kraang had no need for mental stimulants. However, Kraang's instruction was to learn the traits and mannerism of the human kind. Since most human adults relied on the stimulant, it would be within the bound of scientific reason to accept a free pro-offered drink. There was a significant possibility it could explain some of their stranger behavior. 

There was a nonverbal sign of the emotion known as happiness on her face as I took the cup. "It's the summer blend called Summer Solstice. It's a bit of a lighter roast, tangy and fruity. To be honest, I like Winter's Eve better, but I like the bold stuff."

I filtered out her inane chatter as I carefully tasted the so called coffee. The exosuits were equipped to intake any form of nutrients or fluids, digest to a form compatible with Kraang biology before delivering it to my actual mouth. The computers registered the different chemicals, before approving all for consumption.

I disagreed once I tasted the hot liquid. Bitter. Far more bitter than anything from home, even the Kytura bean. How could humans willingly consume such a disgusting concoction? Their taste buds were not dissimilar to Kraang’s. “Kraang does not approve of this beverage that humans called coffee.” I sat the cup on the counter before the human drone. “It’s taste is offensive to Kraang.” 

“Hey!” She shouted as I turned to leave her station. “Dude, you know I could sweeten it or maybe add some creamer. C’mon I'm being nice here!” 

I paused, and turned back to the female. While most of her words were incomprehensible, especially the second sentence, I was able to understand her meaning. “The beverage known as coffee can be altered to be more appeasing?” I asked to clarify, and the human thankfully simply nodded in agreement to my inquiry. “How so?” 

“Well… you have sweeteners. Sugar, honey, all those sugar-free sweeteners which I highly recommend against,” she explained in perhaps the most understandable language I had heard from her since our meeting. Perhaps this was the trick to understand the drones, speak regarding their positions and purposes. It would be the area they would have some understanding of. “I find that they add an unpleasant taste to the coffee, but that’s just my opinion. Then we have a variety of creamers. Milk, half-and-half, and then ten different flavored creamers. There’s also a few syrups back here I can add as well.” 

Kraang had not been aware that the human’s nutrient coffee could be in altered in so many ways. In hindsight, it should have been deducted considering how many different forms humans acquired their various nutrients. Perhaps one of the more confusing aspects of human behaviors as that they wanted so much diversity even when it bordered on absurd. After a moment of deliberation, I decided it would be best to allow the drone to do what she was programmed to do. “Kraang will defer to the human’s experience in the area known as coffee flavoring.” 

The human exhibited strange behavior of biting her own lip, though not in intent to consume her own flesh. The area was only slightly discolored that faded as she finally spoke. “Look, for me to make you something tasty, I need to know what kind of stuff you like. Obviously, bitter is out of the question. Do you like sweet stuff? Lightly sweetened or super sweet? Was it too strong? I can add creamer that will dilute it a bit, but you got chocolate flavoring, caramel, nutty, I even have coconut and mint creamers back here.” 

“Kraang will defer to the human’s experience,” I repeated in case she had not understood me. 

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she commented before pulling the cup of coffee back into her work station. The comment sounded ominous, paired with the different things she poured into the beverage, which made accepting the cup back even more doubtful when she offered it shortly afterwards. “I call this Ava’s cup. Best for long days of monotonous work...which judging by your looks you have way too much of.” 

The computers ran two tests this time, detecting far more different chemicals in the beverage than before. None were known to cause Kraang harm, but most had not been tested for compatibility with Kraang. The addition of the chemicals did alter the taste greatly into something far more palatable. Sweet, but less so than the confectionery known to humans as marzipan Kraang had tested previously in an investigation of human’s different nutritional sources that showed no actual nutritional value. It was actually very pleasant.

“Kraang approves of the modifications.” Happiness returned to the female’s expression, as well as hints at relief. “The human’s experience is fitting for her station.” 

She paused before replying, “You know what, I’m just gonna take that as I know what I’m doing. And quit calling me ‘human.’ Name’s Ava, obviously.” She pointed to the brass plate pinned to the blouse she wore. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re names Kraang? Pretty strange name. Where you from?” 

“Kraang is from eastern Europe,” I answered, using the alibi created from Kraang Prime upon our first invasion of the human’s world. According to her research, for those in what the humans called ‘the western world’ those of the region known as eastern Europe provided enough similarities to excuse the difference between our species. 

“Ahh, okay,” she nodded her head. “Well, whenever you want another cup o’ joe or maybe learn how to speak normal, feel free to come back. Generally it’s rather boring around here.” She gestured to the human complex known as a ‘mall’ that her station was stationed in. Kraang had determined that it was a prime area to observe humans in their natural element. Boring did not adequately describe the situation, dozens of humans filled the corridors and different shops in small packs. The noise level was elevated from hundreds of different conversations occurring simultaneously...yet despite the numerous population, none had expressed any signs interest in the kiosk. 

“The human known as Ava will assist Kraang with speech that is recognized as ‘normal’ amongst humans?” 

“Yeah, sweetie, I’ll help you talk normal. Just a tip, don’t refer to other people as humans. What else would we be?”


End file.
